“So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide”—Meredith Grey (via higherstatesofconsciousness)
"Now I will tell you my secret. How to make friend with the monkey mind? Give job. That is the secret. Finish my secret. Okay? No? If you can give job to your monkey mind, then you become boss. Monkey mind become your employee. And you become employer. Normally monkey…
Where did you go this week, what did you see? To the same shops you frequent, day in, day out, telling the same cashiers that you’re ‘Pretty good thanks, and yourself?’
From your shower to your computer and back again, staring at the same blank screen for what feels like hours, until you ~finally refresh your Facebook page to see what Molly has to say to Mandy.
From your bed to your bookshelf, to stare at unread tomes you’re gonna leave sat there lonely.
Why do you have writer’s block?
Because there’s a creek an hour out of town and you keep giving excuses not to visit it; because once you finally get there, you don’t wanna walk the cliffs for a mile until you can throw yourself into freezing water; because the water’s fucking freezing so you chose not to get in.
Because there’s champagne in your fridge and you’ve let it go flat, convincing yourself you need an occasion to finish off a bottle; because you need an occasion for anything; because you can’t make up something to celebrate; because you’ve forgotten what it means to jump for joy for no damn reason other than being alive.
Because you won’t call that number back; because you spend hours fiddling around on your phone, but when it rings you don’t pick up; because you’d rather save that last fifty in your wallet than take your lover out to dinner; because you order the same cocktail every damn time; because you only order one cocktail.
Because you let your partner fuck you the same way, in the same room, on the same night of every week; because you kiss them afterwards and tell them you love them, but you never say what you’re thinking - and this week you’ve been thinking, ‘Fuck me ‘til I feel alive’; because you need someone to fuck you to make you feel alive.
Why do you have writer’s block?
Because you think the words will come to you.
Because you think real life starts A) on the other side of the fence, where the grass is greener and oh look, you’re using tired cliches that no-one’s gonna read again, and B) on a piece of blank paper or a screen with a blinking fucking cursor when in reality it ain’t up to the words to invigorate you, but for you to put the sparkle in the words, baby.
We already know that I love you, we know how much and why – so what is left?
The how. How I fell in love with you, during countless moments of small intimacies, large laughter, and every shape of kindness.
Even before I knew it, I fell in love with you whilst building a bed, knowing you’d fuck me on it, but not that we would make it ours. I fell in love with you with your hand on the small of my back, telling me stories as I fell asleep – any voice can send me to dreamland, but yours guarantees peace. I fell in love with you at the top of a lighthouse, running through the rain across darkened headlands; I fell deeper once we slammed the car doors and your lips found mine, mascara pooling on your nose as you finally pulled away.
I fell in love with you in the most beautiful places. I fell in love with you during ugly times with worse backdrops. Throughout dinners we cooked together, throughout the times when you were so bad, I wasn’t allowed to talk. Through it all, I fell in love with you.
I fell in love with you with fingers locked together, legs messy, yours long and mine short, somehow tangled up in one another forcing us to remain in bed, awake, until well after sunrise. With your breath in my mouth, with your taste lingering on every part of my body, I fell in love with you. When we fought, still I fell. When you turned your back, I wondered how you had so much control of your limbs when I remained in free fall, ever falling when it came to you.
Driving at night. Listening to you sing. Cups of tea passing from your hands to mine. Falling asleep with a cat in between us. Holding my hand as I get tattooed. Making you fresh juice in the summertime. Laughing at you when you fall off your skateboard. Being lifted up over the top of waves – kissing as they crash around our shoulders. Your shoulders.
“No, I’m not gay. No, I’m not straight, and I sure as hell am not bisexual, dammit. I am whoever I am when I am it. Loving whoever you are when the stars shine and whoever you’ll be when the sun rise.”— Angel Haze (via missmoodyblue)
If you want to get to know me, stop asking me what my favourite film is; don’t even think about taking me to the movies unless you’re prepared to ignore the whole of the Hobbit in favour of talking to me about how Tolkien’s original makes me feel. If you want to get to know me, why are you…
I think I fall a little in love with people when I catch them in small moments, when they think no one’s looking at them, when they absently twirl a strand of hair between their fingers, when they lick their thumb to turn a page in a book. There’s something beautiful about a person who is lost in a thought, or adjusting their shirt, or is scratching a phantom itch on their arm, or even someone who is looking at someone else like I am looking at them.
“Millions of people never analyze themselves. Mentally they are mechanical products of the factory of their environment, preoccupied with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, working and sleeping, and going here and there to be entertained. They don’t know what or why they are seeking, nor why they never realize complete happiness and lasting satisfaction. By evading self-analysis, people go on being robots, conditioned by their environment. True self-analysis is the greatest art of progress.”—Paramahansa Yogananda (via cosmofilius)
“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”—Lao Tzu (via mentalfornication)
Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.